Shopping In My Own Closet

Shopping, buying new stuff, clothes, shoes, make-up, decoration, kitchen utensils. Things you really want at that moment. But never actually need, or use a lot. Things I buy because, well, reasons?

Until this month, the month after my summer vacation, the month that will not be finished by the end of my money. Unfortunately, this month has quite some fancy occasions that require some awesome dresses. Dresses that I can't buy, because of my lack of budget for it. Dresses that I won't need, because I have so many already. 

And it was this realisation that made me feel quite uncomfortable. You see, I've got so many clothes, and own a closet full of shoes. And still I think it's necessary to buy more. Even though I haven't worn most of these. At least, not for more than half a day. 

When I packed my bags for two weeks of travel, you could hardly see a gap between the stacks of clothes in my closet. 

So why did I want a new dress for the glamorous birthday party? In spring I bought a super glamorous dress, one that I've never worn. Because I didn't like it? No, because I've not yet found the right occasion. And now that occasion has come, I still don't want to wear it.

I've bought blazers, that I've been wearing only once before they disappeared in the back of my closet. Shirts that have only seen the living room and the supermarket. Skirts that have only been to the pub once. How much money did I spend on these pieces?

Money that I would've otherwise spend on different wardrobe pieces. Because somehow, I enjoy it. When all I do is waste my money, and feed the pollution, the consuming nature of today's society. Exactly what I dislike. And still, I surrender.

While, honestly, I don't want to.

So since this month is a time where I don't have the money to fill my wardrobe with useless pieces. I think this is the best time to finally wear the forgotten items. To not waste money on other pieces that'll end up in the back of my closet. To go to the party, wearing last spring's dress. And wear it with pride. Probably without anyone taking notice. 

This is the time to get creative and find new outfits, without spending another euro for one whole month.

Love,

-M

Behind the Cray Cray: M

For today: everything you do or do not want to know about me, M, one of the craydians. I'm a 22 year old student who is simply incapable of doing nothing for the day. I'm in love with thrift shops, DIY projects, cooking, reading, movies, photo's, music and most of all: people.

How ever difficult I find people sometimes, I don't like to be alone. Going out for a drink, hanging out at the beach, watching movies, having dinner or drinking tea. Call me anytime.

Together with my boyfriend I live in an awesome apartment in The Hague. I enjoy being in the house, and making it in to our home. I have a deep fascination for fashion and (interior)design and the best way to feed this fascination is at the thrift shop. There I find basics, or accesories for everywhere in my life. My kitchen cabinets are filled with vintage tin storage cans, my wardrobe with thrift shop treasures and my living room with fun accessories.

Shopping is someting I preferably do alone. I buy way too much of anything and sometimes think I can wear something different every day of the year without repeating one single look.

When I'm not busy around the house or with friends I'm studying. Currently a second year student in Commercial economics, and a graduated graphic designer. When I finally finish school I hope to be in advertising or marketing, but I recently discovered event planning, so who knows where I'll end up in a few years.

If I write I've got the music blasting through my speakers at full volume. Currently I'm obsessed with the album bad blood by Bastille. But last week it was Macklemore, and before Michael Bublé. I listen to pretty much anything but R'n'B. And when I dance to good music, that's love.

I mostly write about fashion, interior, DIY's, make-up and cooking. Besides here at craydians I've claimed some other corners of the internet at aboutthebluesky, (personal blog) twitter and instagram.

Love,

- M

The Glory in Defiance: An Analysis of The Success of Lana del Rey

Last week,  I was sitting on the bus, travelling to see my love again. We had been having some difficulties, especially in communicating our wishes and desires, causing us to clash. I was very anxious about what seeing him again was going to be like, yet full of desire to hold him again. So, in my bittersweet mood, I plugged in my earbuds and started listening to Lana Del Rey.

Her music was strengthening my state of mind and I felt that typical rush of excitement you get when you really feel music. At the same time, I remembered some of the commentaries I read about her songs, so I started to listen more carefully. During my inspection, I realized her music was certainly characterized by overly dramatic vocals and slightly cliché and pretentious lyrics that reminded me of the poems I wrote when I was 15. Yet, for some reason, the combination of it all was appealing to me.

I am not the only one who feels this way. One could view her as part of YouTube/Vevo royalty, with her Instagramesque videoclip Born To Die nearing 115 million views as we speak. Keeping in mind that she has landed several modeling jobs for industry leading magazines like Vogue, she has clearly become something of a celebrity. Why does this woman and her music, speak so vividly to the imagination of the public eye?

Lana Del Rey operates in a period of time in which extremely dramatic performing by pop stars is appreciated when done right. Think about the likes of Lady Gaga and her numerous copycats. However, Lana  doesn’t have to put on a dress of meat in order to put the drama back into pop culture. She makes nostalgically reminiscing and embracing the pains of puberty and the gloriousness of being deviant relevant again for a larger public through sound, vision and personality.

Born To Die was released in a time of societal pandemonium caused by the current global economic climate. Large economic restructuring doesn’t only influence the contents of our wallets, but also influences our mental and physical experiences of everyday life. Her music embraces its violence, its aggression and its all pervasiveness. By drawing  on familiar pains of having loved and being lost and combining them with the modern hurtful societal experiences of the recession, her music speaks appealing volumes.

Through singing about wanting to live on the road, being wild and free, and her pussy tasting like Pepsi Cola she uses explicit but poetically veiled erotica resembling the older vampire literature of Anne Rice. By  drawing on icons like Elvis, Marilyn Monroe and Jim Morrison, she uses symbols of stereotypical American (pop) cultural heritage to create recognition and authority. The dichotomies that she builds (like Gods and Monsters) aren’t at all clever but are so obvious one wouldn’t think of them. By artistically and agentively transforming these pop symbols by rearranging them, by putting them in new but familiar contexts, she spins a web of authenticity.

She couldn’t have reached her popularity through creating music that fits within the current sociocultural climate alone. She had to have a persona for her to seem sincere , a persona that corresponds with the message of her music.  She has been living that self representation quite successfully, I think, always behaving like a character of a postmodern novel. Often, her photoshoots invoke the same feeling as her texts do. Her beauty is fashionable, nearing the average of a certain standard of white, thin, pale beauty, while simultaneously diverting from it through emphasizing her larger than normal lips. Lana Del Rey’s performance is consistent  inside and outside of music; always working within the accepted frames of reference but making it her own by always giving a slight twist.

How genuine her beautiful deviousness really is, remains to be argued,  if needs  to be emphasized constantly. Of course it is all part of a (commercially driven) performance, but doesn’t the fact she so deeply feels the need to do this make her especially and genuinely broken?

I could go on with this attempt at an analysis for a while; exploring her obvious daddy issues that shine through her lyrics and ask the question whether this all isn’t the product of the pretty damn powerful music industry, but a blog might not be the right forum for such an essay. I’ll leave attempts at producing such writings for my upcoming year as a graduate student. Oh, and by the way, for those who wonder; luckily, being reunited with my love wasn’t at all bittersweet. I even forgot my earbuds on my way home.

Love,

J